[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Wednesday, December 28th, 2005|
|I despise Quizilla. Buuuuut...
I couldn't pass this one up.
I think, though, that I am a little bit of all of them, even Mr. Balowski.
You are Vyvyan!
Your childhood will only
encourage you to spread the chaos elsewhere.
Think globally, Act locally. You will either
invent a new chemical agent capable of wiping
out entire ant species, or invent a new ant
species capable of wiping out entire chemical
plants. You will meet and fondle the first
person who has a fetish for push-ups and
Warning: Stay away from open flame!
Which Young Ones character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
|Tuesday, December 27th, 2005|
|Guys can be so damn clever...
A bit of solid gold from the "Police Blotter" in this morning's San Mateo Daily Journal:Civil Matters.
An uncertified mechanic was paid $300 to fix a woman's vehicle on the 700 block of San Anselmo Avenue around 10:49pm Monday, Dec. 19. [ed. note from Mig: this is not the time of day to go about car repairs.
] He took the vehicle apart and would only continue working on it in exchange for sex.
|Friday, December 9th, 2005|
|Just call me "Squadron Leader Mig"
I'm about to buy tickets online (for Cut Chemist, my #%%$@#!! hero). And I've stumbled across something that has got my mental gears churning.
I'm not sure if this is on the part of the credit card companies, or if this is just a DNA Lounge gag that I have stumbled across, easter-egg style. But in the billing information "title" field-- where you normally select "Mr" or "Ms"-- there are some very interesting options to choose from.
Air Commodore. Baron. Comtessa. Crown Prince. His Highness. Viscount. And dozens more.
I'm going with "Sultan".
|Wednesday, November 30th, 2005|
|Missed photo opportunity of the year, part 2
This morning, I took Melanie down to the DMV. The woman that helped her was a short, elderly Japanese lady... and when she turned around, Melanie noticed that the lady had a paper toilet seat cover hanging out of the back of her pants
Unfortunately, I hadn't anticipated that I should bring a camera to the DMV.
I was tempted to tell her... but then I figured that by not doing so, I was helping many other people turn an unpleasant trip to the DMV into something wonderful.
Thank you, Our Blessed Lady of the Ass Gasket, for bringing me this miracle today!
|Wednesday, November 16th, 2005|
|An interesting connection.
So last night at the record store, I saw a display for a newly released DVD that I would LOVE to get: The complete collection of the Tony Orlando & Dawn show! (3 dvds, $39). I used to watch this show as a kid.
Today, I looked for it on Amazon in order to do a price check. ($44, incidentally.)
The interesting thing is what the search brought up. Searching for "Tony Orlando dvd" on Amazon brings up these items:
1. The aforementioned box set
2. Branson, Missouri xmas special
3. Zombies vs. Satan Double Digital Creature Feature (Wiseguys vs. Zombies / Meat for Satan's Icebox).
How about that.
|Wednesday, November 9th, 2005|
|Troll in a day's work
I have this coworker, a middle-aged fellow who is short and stout and not unlike a Hobbit. And not one of the cute hobbits from the movies, but the old Rankin-Bass cartoon kind (although I guess they were kind of cute too). He is stinky and has furry feet... I know this because likes to wear these weird open-toe slipper-type situations around the office.
Anyway, he farts a lot (loudly) and he seems to think it's amusing to sneak up behind me and then quietly blow on the top of my head. To be fair, we used to carpool a lot before I moved so we know each other pretty well. (But still... !!!) Then the other day, he came over and without warning, he sat down in my lap
What is probably the most disturbing part of all this, however, is that more than anything, I think it is all really funny
. I guess you just have to know him.
|Tuesday, November 8th, 2005|
|Kinda freaked, but relieved.
So my "little" cousin, Franco
, got shipped off to Iraq. My little cousin, Franco, got put on landmine-hunting duty. My little cousin, Franco, found himself on the wrong end of one.
My little cousin, Franco, is okay and in the hospital. But my little cousin, Franco, has a few broken bones and some shrapnel in his arm.
The good news: my little cousin, Franco, gets to come back home. And the bad news, fortunately, is not nearly as bad as it could have been.
I've always believed-- and I can't believe more people haven't openly theorized this-- is that Dubya is like the guy on the playground that got his ass whupped, and so he goes and beats up on someone else. It's pretty apparent that his way of healing the bruise from 9/11 (especially after failing to nab bin Laden) was to go and kick Iraq's ass.
The official 9/11 death toll is 2752. The official number of US war deaths (er, "casualties") in Iraq is now over 2000.
In other words, Bush has killed almost as many Americans as bin Laden has, and he spent $100,000,000,000 of our money to do so.
Sorry to be yet another "the war sucks and so does Bush" blog entry, but it's particularly acute today. Glad that my little cousin Franco is getting all fixed up. Current Mood: relieved
|Friday, November 4th, 2005|
|zzzuizide girlzzzz (wake me when it's over)
The SG show was such a non-event. The production of it was good;
but it was otherwise rather unexciting. The two girls I was with
(La Foxxy Melanie and our friend Lisa) were cuter than the girls on stage, and
they had real boobies to boot.
Maybe had I not been involved in the burlesque world for the past several years (in fact, today is Gorilla X
4-1/2th birthday) this would appeal to me more. But I've just
seen so much that it now really takes something to impress me.
The drunk frat boys there ate it all up: the
electrical-tape-cross nipple covers; the "schoolmistress spanking the
naughty schoolgirls" act; etc. I'm sorry, but stripping to
Peaches is no longer even remotely "edgy". And there was no tease
at all... each number basically had one clothing article to be removed
and it was at the finish line. I do greatly appreciate the DIY
nature of the Suicide Girls concept; and I'm damn impressed that they
can put on a successful burlesque tour (which is a rather elusive grail
for most burlesquers). But the whole thing was nothing you
couldn't see at the Crazy Horse. And at the Crazy Horse, there
are no bullshit electrical tape crosses.
The best part of the whole night was the opening band, Tsu Shi Ma Mi
Rae. Yet another from the pedigree of "Cute Japanese Rocker Chick
Bands", although these were a cut above the rest. (Think Shonen
Knife but way more rockin'; 5678's but with way better music.)
Some guy in the crowd said: "hey! it's the 7-8-9-10's!" I
thought it was a funny comment, until I realized that he was saying it
Other highlights: I kept lobbing ice cubes at this big fat sweaty
fist-pumping stinky guy. But I'd toss them with a high enough arc
that they'd come down upon him completely vertically. And I was
an absolute master of looking innocent, so every time he turned around
ready to brawl with whoever it was, he never even remotely suspected
me. I must have hit him on the head or shoulders at least a dozen
times. He was being annoying and obnoxious and crashing into
people and spilling drinks and when he tried to pick up his trollish
female counterpart, he dropped her on her ass. So I couldn't
resist. Otherwise, I wouldn't be so much of an ass. (Okay,
maybe I would.)
And my other favorite moment of the night was seeing a guy with a full arm-band tattoo of a mathematical graph
. The math nerd in me immediately perked up. I went up to him and said (warning: NERD ALERT)
"dude-- I know what that tattoo is, and I think that is AWESOME.
It's the spiral from the Fibonacci series!" And his eyes got all
wide and he high-fived me.
I have NEVER seen a math tattoo before. Frickin' awesome.
|Thursday, November 3rd, 2005|
|The descent into madness begins...
Okay, as you all know, esteemed readers (few as you may be), I've done a hell of a job resisting the badgerings of my friends (and my psyche) to join livejournal. I have always looked down upon Livejournal (excuse me, "LJ") addicts. I've always mocked people who consider themselves "bloggers" as if somehow spouting pedestrial drivel and surveys somehow equates to a vocation.
But here I am.
And the evil mindset is already quietly infiltrating my heretofore free mind.
For tonight, I am headed out to go to the Suicide Girls burlesque show (shut up, I was given the tickets for free).
The debate about the validity of SG as burlesque will not be held here, I'm tired of it. I am sort of on the side of the fence that says they aren't; but I've seen a whole lot worse that technically is. The main thing here: I think SG's are hot. In general. And I'm not going to pass up a chance to see them for free.
But therein lies my descent into Livejournal madness.
For I'm already thinking "I will have to post an entry about the show when I get home!"
(is it uncouth to sign one's own blogs?)
|Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005|
|Missed photo opportunity of the year.
The other day, I went with La Melanita into the local Michael's craft store to check out the Halloween goodies. When we got there, we found a display labeled with big letters that said-- I shit you not, gentle reader--
TRICK OR TEATS
Unfortunately, we did not have a camera present. We made a special trip back there a few days later for a picture, but it was gone.
However, as a consolation prize, I did get a picture the other day of a sign promising "UNBLEACHED MUSLIM" at the fabric store I took her to. When I can figure out how to post the picture here, I will.
I'm getting hooked on this shit. I bet it won't be long before I do late-night drunk posting.
|Welcome to the world of toys.
Okay, I have resisted this forever. I don't want to become a "blogger" i.e. one of those people who always has entries like this:
I woke up today. I'm depressed. I wish I could sleep again.
Music: The Smiths, "How Soon is Now"
Simply put, just because Joe Blogger has something to say, doesn't mean that it is interesting, nor that other people want to read it. Too many people do this for self-gratification. And too many other people use LJ for passive-aggressive arguing via blog comments. There are only three blogs that I find worthy of reading regularly: www.rahoi.com, www.maryforrest.com, and AVPhibes' on here. And Heather aka Kaitalah's too because she is groovy.
So I've been really hesitant to join the fray.
But here I am-- joining because I think it will make it easier to go read my friends' LJs because I can just click to them. And maybe now, Phibes, I can finally post comments on yours or read your secret shit! haha
And maybe, just maybe, I'll start posting about some of the weird shit that befalls me on an almost daily basis, because it's usually quite amusing.
burlesque gorilla/talk show guest/freight train hopper/computer industry whore/overall jackass/overall nice guy/bender of the universe/and much much more for only three easy payments of $19.95.